A Mans Secrets to Successful Online Dating
People have taken to online dating like a duck takes to water because it works…or, at least, it can work. Women are, in general, terrified of meeting a man that she has been chatting with online. All they have heard about are the scary things that can happen…and, I must say, they have a right to be careful to the extreme. That’s not only wise but vital. So what’s a nice guy to do? You aren’t a pervert, a sexual predator, or a weirdo. You are just a nice guy looking for “the” girl for you.
You must be patient. Don’t press her for personal information like her real name or where she lives. Keep your conversations light and fun until she feels comfortable talking with you online. Don’t try to rush her into meeting face-to-face. She will think you are desperate or a pervert. Patience here is the key.
Be absolutely honest about your physical appearance and job. A good relationship has never been, and will never be, built on lies and deceit. Eventually she will find out the truth anyway and there you are back at square one.
A picture really is worth a thousand words. Post many pictures of yourself doing your everyday activities and make them full body shots, not just head shots. If you were dating a girl in the real world she wouldn’t just see your head.
Once the discussion has been opened about meeting face-to-face for the first time, suggest that you meet in a very public place, during daylight hours and that she bring a friend with her. After all, you have nothing to hide. You’ve told her the truth about yourself and she has already seen a lot of pictures of you. The only thing left is to make her feel safe meeting you.
Honesty Really is the Best Policy
When you join an online dating service, you are looking for a girl that you can like even come to love. That girl is looking for a guy that SHE can like or even love. What you aren’t looking for is a girl who would like your best friend or your idea of what the perfect guy looks like or talks like or thinks like. So, in order to find the right girl for you and she IS out there, you need to be completely honest with yourself about yourself when writing the online profile, during the dating process and beyond.
The best way to begin writing your profile is to carefully analyze your past relationships. What was right? What was wrong? What things really made you like the last girl? Which didn’t? Don’t assume that just because you hated that your last girl was so totally self-involved that she couldn’t see anything else, you’ll be able to overlook that quality this time. You won’t.
If you aren’t 6’1” with a six-pack to be proud of, don’t claim to be. If you are a bar tender, don’t claim to be a lawyer with a six figure income. If you are 40 going on 50, don’t pretend to be 30 something.
Once you have found a girl that you believe can be the one for you, for goodness sakes, cancel your membership to the online dating service. After all, you know and she knows that online dating services are intended for those who are looking not those who have found or been found.
Remember, the idea here is to find a girl who will like you exactly like you are. If you have lied in your profile, the first face-to-face meeting will remove all her doubt that you are a liar and probably a cheat, as well.
Lastly, emember, the idea here is to find a girl who will like you exactly like you are. If you have lied in your profile, the first face-to-face meeting will remove all her doubt that you are a liar…and probably a cheat, as well.
How Do I Choose the Right Site For Me?
With the explosion of online dating sites has come a virtual smorgasbord of choices. There are free sites I don’t recommend but if money is a real concern, they are better than nothing. There are the large paid sites with many and varied features like chat, IM and even matching using profiles. There are the less expensive paid sites with few features. There are special interest sites for almost any thing you can think of...outdoor enthusiasts, couch potatoes, religious, non-religious, gays, lesbians…like I said…almost anything you can think of. So what’s a girl to do? A girl should choose the site or sites that best fit her needs.
Here are certain factors to consider before you dive in the field:
Cost. How much do you want or how much can you spend each month for your membership (s)?
Features. Which features are the most important to you?
Profile matching systems. Is this a feature you really want or would you rather decide who is right for you all by yourself?
Chat and IM’s? There are websites who offer chat rooms and IM’s on their sites. Does that matter or would you be happy just sticking to private email.
Outside Events…such as speed dating? Are you interested in that?
Privacy. Some websites allow you to limit who can view your picture or your profile. Does this matter to you or do you want as wide exposure as you can have?
Safety. There are websites who do background checks of all subscribers and certify their age, marital status and background. Would you feel safer using this feature?
These are a few things but not all things you should consider when choosing an online dating service or services. Do your homework and choose wisely for the best results for you.
Online Dating Can Be Tough
Here’s a little secret that those of the female persuasion keep from us guys: Women, even very beautiful women, like to be approached by a confident and interesting man. Are you surprised? It’s true…and confident and interesting are much more important than looks to ladies of all ages, too. That’s true for internet dating, as well as, dating in your brick and mortar world but we’re talking about internet dating here so back to the subject at hand.
Once you have joined an online dating service, you will find that there a lot more men than women and that the men are much more likely to browse profiles and make initial contacts than women. Yes, it’s a woman’s world still. It’s “traditional” for men to make the first move. It always has been and it always will be. Some things never change. That’s why your profile and picture are so important.
Remember -confident and interesting and that does not translate to cocky and self-centered. It’s important that your profile lets people know that you have friends you care about and that you are passionately interested in a variety of things…not JUST sports. Another thing about that all-important profile. Please don’t start it with, “I’m the guy your mama warned you about”.
You will have just shot yourself in the foot with that line. Another one to never use is, “I could be the man of your dreams”. The lady HOPES you are but she will be the judge of that so don’t insult her intelligence. Exude confidence and interesting and you will find that lady you have been looking for or she will find you eventually.
Won’t it be nice to have the ladies contacting you instead of you having to do everything? If you write a great profile that stands out in the crowd, your chances would be far better.